that girl from somewhere (bare_my_soul) wrote,
that girl from somewhere

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hello i love joshua still and i am scared.

yesterday was a good day.

i took the bus to school and i got there 15 minutes early instead of 15 minutes late. so i had time to finish my homework sitting outside on a bench.
i kept volunteering answers in german class and i kept being wrong lol. :( i must learn to shut up
after german i have an hour break and i planned to do homework, but instead i ended up crying/falling asleep. then i had the best french class ever: she took attendance, handed us an insanely easy take-home quiz on the present tense and told us to have a great weekend.

so that gave me time to do my linguistics homework :) linguistics is by far my hardest class ever :( it's really really crazy.

yeah.. then classes.. and then i sat around for another hour waiting for soraya to finish her last class. i was so productive and did so muc homework outside on the green grass.

we lay on this hill where the prarie chicken is for over an hour, just talking. at least joshua's making things exciting, right? she said it sounded like a soap opera. lol ehehe

and then we got home around 6pm.. sylvia and nicole stayed for dinner and then i took them and melanie for ice cream. with nicky the blind poodle.

anyways i felt really good yesterday and happy and normal. i found open water & garden state ticket stubs in my wallet. yay. i can add them to.. the other ticket stubs. one day i'll through them out accidentally and never know they're missing :) but i'll never get rid of them on purpose.

so this morning i decided to check my e-mail and joshua said he's ready to talk. but he's come to a realizaton? uh oh that is keeping me teriffied. his girl came online tuesday morning, and we decided to talk to each other and soi said okay, i'll meet you at 6am, right? but then i didn't want to talk to her at all so i dind't come online. i went on at liek 8:30am and ten minutes later she signed on and i ended up talking to her anyway. she kept teling me don't tell joshua about htis convo, but i was gonna anyway, only she beat me to it. i hope his 'realization' isn't that he does like her more than me after all. i feel so sick. throw-uppy sick. and mentally. and everythingally.

i am on a computer at school. are you so jealous cuz i'm so smart? i'm a university student. i'm thinking of dropping psych instead of dropping out completely out of all of my courses. that way i will feel like i did something to help my poor heart out, and also staurday classes from 8-12 kinda suck, and it's more likea bio class right now than a psych class.

i hate this thoug hi have not have crying time and i just wanna do that. i'm going swimming later though so that's good i suppose.

isn't it so funny tha ti've been dying to talk to him and now it's just scary? no actually i've been scared all along. cept yesterday i felt okay. i felt okay till about 10pm when i realized that i like him a lot. he's not an asshole. he only is like that one out of fifty times, and he is so perfect to me the rest of the time. so there. i really like him a lot. yes. isnt that funny.
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